I was just attacked by a Policeman. What the hell is wrong with people in this game? They didn't do this back in Blue, they actually attempted to catch criminals back then. Ok they did a shitty job of it, but at least they weren't trying to assault children.
"Whoops"
Is that really all you have to say for yourself game?
Oh, night time is fun apparently. What a brilliant excuse. Don't overdo it you say? I'm not the one who's sneaking up on innocent bystanders in the middle of the night pal. At least Team Rocket has the decency to stand around conspicuously and announce their intentions to do you harm. Speaking of which, why don't I have the option to join Team Rocket? It'd be a wonderful change of pace and I'm fairly certain I could do a better job of running it than whoever's in charge of it now.
Oh the joy of inconsistencies. Lyra decides to call me to inform me of her Marill evolving into Azumarill. About 20 minutes later she calls to tell me about how her Marill stinks. Are we just ignoring the fact that it evolved? Give me an explanation here, don't just phone it in. Oh wait, that's the standard operating procedure here isn't it?
Christ, why even bother with having trainers harass me over the phone if you aren't even going to put any effort into making it consistent, much less worthwhile or entertaining.
Whitney: "Everyone was into Pokemon, so I got into it, too!"
For starters that's terrible use of punctuation dear. Secondly, what else is there to get into in this world? I don't think there are any other recreational activities or even non-pokemon related professions in this world. Everyone here eats, sleeps and breathes Pokemon. How could you not get into it? It's the entirety of the world's culture in the game world.
Whitney: "Pokemon are super cute!"
How on earth did someone this ditzy ever become a gym leader? The standards must be pretty damn low.
Whitney: "You want to battle?"
No actually, I just wanted a watering can but the lady at the flower shop said she wouldn't give me one unless I beat you up. Women, always so damn catty and hell bent on holding grudges.
Whitney: "I'm warning you-- I'm good!"
I sincerely doubt that. I also doubt that your Pokemon will be any better than you. As a brief aside: how in the world do middle schoolers end up as gym leaders? Oh wait, that's right, Pokemon training is the only profession in this world so school isn't important as long as you know how to throw a pokeball. This might explain why there are so many shitty trainers. Everyone ditches school and heads out to make their fortune. There should be more bodies on the side of the road though...
Ok that was embarassing. I forgot how much I hated her Miltank and Attract. Also: Normal moves hitting Ghost-type pokemon is new. Stupid abilities. They didn't have any of this sort of nonsense back in my day.
Onward to Round 2.
A well placed Curse and having a female Quilava work wonders. Much smoother, but Miltank is still a pain in the ass. At least she put up a challenge unlike all the other mooks in this game.
That's right, cry you wench. Your anguish pleases me. Yes I'm a meanie, get over it and hand over the badge.
She refuses to hand over the badge. This means I'm going to have to burn her gym to the ground. The first in a series of monuments. Or she could just hand it over after sniveling. Bah, what a load of nonsense.
Oh lovely, the guy who gives out obvious advice at gyms is a bit distracted. Apparently he was too busy ogling the female trainers to notice me beating them up. Or maybe he's just into that. He seems like the kind of creep who would get off on that.
Flower shop lady: Round 2
"Apparently, there is an odd tree on Route 36.
They say it dances when you water it...
Oh, that's a Plain Badge from Goldenrod Gym!
Did you defeat Whitney?!
Well, then there's nothing to worry about, is there?
I'll let you use this SquirtBottle for a while then...Oh, never mind.
Keep it!"
No I didn't defeat Whitney, I actually know a guy who's really good at making counterfeit badges. I still don't see how defeating a gym leader is a prerequisite for doing business at a flower shop to pick up some gardening tools. It doesn't make a damn bit of sense. It's not like she's even selling it and just being overly picky about her clientele. She's just giving these things away. So what was the point? It's not even the watering can I was promised. If I wanted a squirt bottle I could just use the empty container for one of the drinks from the vending machine on top of the department store.
Whoever was in charge of plot progression and quest advancement needs a swift kick in the pants.
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